Ребята, найдите время это прочитать!!!! Это что-то смешное )))))

Waiting on Chad Kroeger
Singer of Nickelback
7/09/06
Sunday Night

Quick summary:

I waited on Chad Kroeger-The singer of Nickelback. I made enough money from his party to pay my car payment which was past due.

The weekend is over and I feel well rested from two days of straight sleep. It's Sunday night and I am up for the challenge of waiting tables at Dennys.

I said good night to my JOSeph as I headed off to work. Before I left he said to me, "Something really good is going happen to you tonight! You are going to get a big tip from someone!" My response to him was, "It better be $300.00! Thats what I need for the car payment!" JOSeph kindly offered to let me borrow the money but I declined.

It was the same old shit when I got to Dennys. Swing shift had bolted out the door without finishing their side work and once again, we were short staffed.
Elaine and I worked the entire restaurant. It was busy! People kept coming in for food. At times it seemed too hectic, but Elaine and I are a good team and we get the job done.

It was a little before midnight when the singer of Nickelback, (Chad Kroeger) walked through the doors. I grabbed some menus and approached him. He asked to be seated in the back.
I call this the VIP section because the tables are surrounded by three walls. There is a large standing area in front of the tables and there is a fire exit. A partition blocks the table from view, making it a semi-private section. It is a perfect spot for a rock star and his entourage.

I have never bought a Nickelback CD and probably never will, but I like the singers voice and I know the words to a lot of their songs. Nickelback has had MANY, MANY, songs grace the top 40 chart. Surely by now, Chad Kroeger is a wealthy man. I have respect for him as an artist, and I sure do know a lot of their songs.

I suggested they have a seat at the clean table while I cleared the other table of the dishes, glasses and leftover food that was leftover from Elaines last party. I told Elaine that Nickelback was in the house. She said, "You can take them, if you want to wait on them." I said, "HELL YEAH! I want to wait on them!"

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I pulled the Green Day pick-necklace out of my shirt.
(All rock stars must recognize that Billie Joe Armstrong is my GOD.)
***************************************************

When I came back, there was a person sitting at the dirty booth. I asked him to please move so I could get the table cleaned off for them. Not only did he move, but he also disappeared for a long time after that.

Part of me wasnt sure if this really was the Nickelback guy or a look alike, so I kept my ears open as I cleared the dirty table. The five people were talking amongst themselves. I overheard Chad on the phone, saying "You won't believe where I'm at... Dennys in Albany." Someone else talked about the long bus ride. Two and two and two are six. This is Chad.

I remembered JOSephs words. This is the really good thing he was talking about! (I'm hoping for a big tip... $100.00 maybe?)

I went to the table, pen in hand. I was a bit nervous but I said, "Hello" to everyone in the party. Someone asked how I was and I told them, "I am really busy, we are short staffed and getting our butts kicked!" As I talked, I looked at everyone. The only person I recognized was Chad.

Chad wasted no time ordering appetizers and entrees for everyone. The only thing he asked about was, what was the on the Philly Steak. I told him what was on the sandwich and he told me to add it on. (That one must be his.)
The other man spoke for himself and ordered a Grand Slam while using his best Sean Connery voice to do so. I laughed and retaliated with my best Sean Connery voice,"How would you like your eggs, scrambled-not stirred, extra dry of course?" He laughed and said, "Yes."

I asked about drinks and the same man asked if we had a full drink menu. I smiled and joked; "We have a full soft drinks menu, but I have Budweiser in the car!" Everyone laughed.
Chad said, "Are you serious? You have beer in the car?" I nodded my head yes and he laughed again. He said he wouldnt feel right tailgaiting in the parking lot... "So, where is the car?" (I wondered if he had ever tailgaited in a parking lot.) Everyone laughed, then Chad ordered a bunch of milkshakes, one of every flavor. He seemed quickly decisive, a take charge kind of guy. He wasn't finicky and was a pleasure to take an order from.
I didnt feel nervous anymore but I wanted to do a kick ass job of waiting on this party, so I asked our manager (Nick) to help me by making the milkshakes. This gave me plenty of time to tend to my other tables and punch in the big order for the Nickelback entourage.

Nick made the shakes and brought them over to the table. I was glad for Nicks help and Nick was glad to talk to a fellow musician who had made it in the big league. When Nick was finished I asked if he had gotten an autograph. Nick said "No, once they sign an autograph for you, they won't ever hang with you."
A few people in the crowd started asking if that was Nickelback. I told them I wasnt sure. A few people asked if they should go to the table and ask for an autograph. This is what I told them;
I am not going to ask for an autograph, but the worst-case scenario if you asked is that Chad might say: Get the fuck away from me! If you can take that, then go for it! A few people dared to go over to Chad. He signed autographs for anyone that asked and wasn't rude to anyone. Our new waitress, Tamara, came gushing to us that she got his autograph and she shared an onion ring with him. It meant so much to her.

I brought plates, napkins and condiments to prepare the table. I said to Chad, "You are a brave man to come to Dennys." He asked why and I said, "You know, being mobbed by people." He answered, "Ahhh, Its an old Jedi mind trick. They cant come beyond this point," and he made an imaginary boundary with his hand. "Ahhh, I see," I replied.

Chad watched as I brought the appetizers. I patiently held the tray behind a young man who was standing at the table. Chad had just signed an autograph for the man to pass along to his friend who is a huge Nickelback fan. I listened to Chad ask the man his name. The young mans name is Dillon. I thought it was a wonderful gesture for Chad to ask for Dillons name. I know Dillon from Dennys and he is a sweetheart. Dillon has ALWAYS been kind to me. I was happy that he got to rub elbows with the rich and famous Chad Kroeger. When Chad looked at me again, I knew it was time to interrupt. I said, "Please excuse me Dillon, the food is ready."

I placed the appetizers in the center of the table and Chad asked for ranch dressing. The same guy who ordered the Grand Slam asked if we had plum jelly or plum sauce. I told him, "No." One of the girls at the table said there was no such thing. He asked me if there was such a thing and I said, "Cmon dude...I dont know. I work at Dennys!"

I placed the ranch dressing down and walked away.

I silently cleared the dirty dishes when the first entree appeared in the kitchen window. Three more people have joined the table. I assume they are security guards. I asked if they needed anything and they said, "No."
I brought out two trays of entrees, placing them buffet style onto the table. I handed the Philly Steak sandwich to Chad and made sure everything was correct before leaving them alone.

After sufficient time had gone by, I checked back to see if they needed refills or anything at all. The Grand Slam guy asked for syrup.
I turned to get the syrup and Chad called out, "Jerrie?"
I answered, "Yes?"
He said, "Jerrie, do you want to make some money?"
I said, "Yup!"
He said, "Ill give you $100.00 if you shove this whole pancake in your mouth."
I laughed and snapped back, "No."
He said, "What about $200.00? Don't you want to try it for $200.00?"
I said, " NO! I can't fit that whole pancake in my mouth!"
He said, "$300.00 Jerrie. I will give you three hundred dollars if you shove that whole pancake in your mouth."

He stood up and placed three one hundred dollar bills on a plate and reiterated his offer. The girls that he was with told him, "That is too much money." One of the girls said, "I'll do it for $300.00."
I looked at Chad and I said, "Okay, Ill do it!" He held the stack of cakes up and said, "Take the top one off and shove the whole thing in your mouth."... So I did. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth with room to spare. I puckered up my lips and showed my pancake face to everyone at the table. They clapped and woot-wooted for me. I rolled my eyes upwards and gave a little EMO pose before spitting the hot cake out into a big thick napkin. (As gracefully as possible.)

I looked at Chad. He picked up the three hundred dollars and handed it to me. He said, "The money is yours." I gave his finger a squeeze when I took it from his hand, then I told him the story about JOSeph and what he said to me as I was leaving for work.
I thanked Chad for helping me out and told him he was the something wonderful that had happened to me tonight. I told him he had taken a load off of my mind by covering the overdue car payment. He shook my hand and I left the table until it was time to bring the bill.
My mind is torn. Should I pick up the check or not? I decided to place the bill on the table and walk away. A few minutes later the entourage got up and left. I said thank you and good night to the two gentlemen as they filed out the door.
I went back to the table and picked up the bill and the money. Chad left a $30.00 tip on the $70.00 bill.

Cost of my overdue car payment: $330.00
Money made from Mr. Kroeger: $330.00
SWEET!

Здесь официант описывает вечер, когда он обслуживал Nickelback в Denny (ресторан в Albany)
Состоялся весёлый разговор, а потом прикольное пари!
Чед просто молодец! Он реально и сам получил удовольствие, и компанию повесеоио, и официанта (Джерри) не обделил )))
Потом обменялись рукопожатиями, и Чед ещё оставил на чай )))